I Am Changing..

My priorities are constantly changing. I dont know if thats a quality of indecisiveness or sign of growing up. I'm rearranging my life, getting ready for the end of junior year, prepping for summer in nyc, readying myself, emotionally and socially, for the graduation of the class of 2009..

I dont really care about selling tickets to a club event. I dont want to shell out insane amounts of money for events I dont go to/could care less about. I dont need additional obligations at this point.. its dead weight. Honestly, there is so much more to life than all of this. Yeah, its been fun, it was nice, and I've made some great friends and memories, but at this point, its exhausting. I cant waste any more money when I need to pay rent + groceries + books + endless and useless expenses. And worrying about money is tiring enough.. I dont need another burden.

I think about the what ifs. If I dont quit. What good could come of it. What I would get from it. How I could give back. And I cant think of a thing off the top of my head. I really have to think.. and if it meant something, it shouldnt be this hard to think. Positive thoughts should come naturally. This isnt for me. I am not meant for this.

This chapter of my life is closing for sure. Even a couple of weeks ago, I was unsure about what I would do. I know now. Its time. And its the most relieving feeling that I've had in a while.


whew.